tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-52816562011-07-15T17:27:05.208-04:00Here's Something-La ;)J & G & N's blog from work|monkayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13117682108967798782noreply@blogger.comBlogger931100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-35134343358153330802008-10-08T17:26:00.001-04:002008-10-08T17:26:47.213-04:00Anyone still reading?Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06822914778917917124noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-40211276719190399742007-12-07T17:31:00.000-05:002007-12-07T17:36:14.702-05:00Burn him at the stake!A: "Tests failed!!" St: "Who was it A? Point him out!! Tell us who it was!!"A: "......[looking up logs]... it was..... St!" St: [mouth drops]everyone: lolGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06822914778917917124noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-31636035539498864382007-12-04T13:54:00.000-05:002007-12-04T13:57:47.287-05:00Cheap shot #2S: "St, there's something wrong with the phone system. When people dial in and key in my name, they can't reach me." G: "...what? I keyed in A-S-S last week and it went through fine."Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06822914778917917124noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-81794735779196691092007-11-21T18:16:00.000-05:002007-11-21T18:19:53.814-05:00We're working too hardI walks over beside A's desk and picks up a full ziplock bag of chunky white powderI: "Come on A, you don't REAALLY need THIS much..."A: "hahahaha"I: "....so, uh, what IS this?"Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06822914778917917124noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-68994915511881016982007-11-01T17:54:00.000-04:002007-11-01T18:43:51.370-04:00On Northern Professionalism. J, now a Yellowknifer, is constantly tormented by management to be the exemplar of big-city professionalism during his Arctic sojourn. Here, we find him in the middle of a call to the phone company, attempting to connect a residential line to his apartment.Phone Lady: Can I please have your phone number?J: Ma'am, I don't have a phone. That's why I'm calling you, from Jnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-57036025746351600452007-10-30T16:40:00.000-04:002007-11-01T18:45:12.154-04:00Cheap shotEarlier in the week.. S: "If you don't hear much from me, I'm still struggling with the business plan..." TodayG eating some TobleroneS: "oh.. can I score a piece of that?"G: "...so is the business plan done?"S: "Ouch that's cold. now I can't even enjoy it if I have a piece takes a piece anywayGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06822914778917917124noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-27485571198044229652007-10-30T16:37:00.000-04:002007-11-01T18:45:38.027-04:00She *is* niiiicceS: "A, A, A... J ratted you out. A has a GF! And he interrupted work to call her [sarcasm]"G: "oh come on, it was Sunday night"S: "So? it's still work!"G: "Actually it was like 1am"S: "OH! so it was a WORK DAY"Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06822914778917917124noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-10188487070068819152007-10-30T11:34:00.000-04:002007-10-30T16:52:21.625-04:00Helleh? S: "...G, why is the voice on the phone system so angry? ... It's you is it?"Apparently, customers are complaining =DGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06822914778917917124noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-65103362897580822222007-10-15T17:06:00.000-04:002007-10-30T16:48:58.755-04:00So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, adieu.Adieu, adieu, to yieu and yieu and youuuuuuuUUUUUU G is arranging a 'see you later' lunch for J:G (in email): "We'll be celebrating J moving up north (and also winning new projects) this Wednesday. Please let me know if you can/can't make it."O (reply email): "I think it might sound better to say that we were marking, rather than celebrating, J's move Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06822914778917917124noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-8953672320762533652007-09-13T14:47:00.000-04:002007-09-13T14:55:56.058-04:00...is she...niiiicce?A is working on his sister's slideshow for her wedding this week: I walks over to A: "is that your date?"A: "NO!"G: "that's his sister.. lol"I: "THAT's your sister? wwwwooooowww"everyone: "LOL"G: "get ready to get thrown out the window"A: "lol OUTSIDE.. NOW"M: "what are you laughing about?"I: "it's alfred's sister, come check it out"everyone: "OHHHHHHH"Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06822914778917917124noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-61945583870190779582007-09-04T14:04:00.001-04:002007-09-04T14:24:14.680-04:00Your ass on the lineFriday afternoon, before the long weekend, M is planning a major DB revamp...:M: ...don't worry, I'll take care of it all, everything will be ok Saturday morning ~10am M: ..so G there's a bit of a problem. The DB is too big...there's option A or B... what do you think? G: thinking lolomgwthbbq..... A new plan is in place, both M and G have to do a bit of work over the Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06822914778917917124noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-38716053913170723422007-08-28T18:47:00.000-04:002007-08-28T18:49:06.433-04:00Wits and WagesJ: Or we could just swing by T's.G: How about I swing by your face?N: How about I swing my knuckle by your eye?Nhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04988520283433759342noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-77052921275058435532007-08-28T18:38:00.000-04:002007-08-28T18:49:23.243-04:00There's someone in my HAUS... and it's NOT ME.J: Why do we always go to St. Louis? Why not Duff's?G: 'Cause it's close to M's HAUS.D: ...Are you saying 'house'?N: LMAOG: ...It's... uh....D: Or are you trying to say, like, 'horse'?N: LMFAOJ: No it's Tanish for 'house'.G: It's not Tanish. It's just Ns. Tanish would be 'heese'.D: Oh, so is that like, street then?Nhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04988520283433759342noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-13979009500521060862007-07-18T11:41:00.000-04:002007-07-18T11:57:27.377-04:00This could very well be N N has come so close to doing this so many times: Discomfited German hurls PC from window, police sympathizeComments are gold:  murray @ Jul 18th 2007 2:53AMI wanted to do that tonight when my PC refused to connect to my wifi network.Until I realised it was user error. shakman @ Jul 18th 2007 8:11AMjust as well you didn't hurl yourself out the window once you'd Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06822914778917917124noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-46863304232773771612007-06-01T13:28:00.002-04:002007-06-01T13:43:28.018-04:00W Bare Hand Phone HaxTurn up the volumeNhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04988520283433759342noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-50173539214266985622007-05-23T16:26:00.000-04:002007-05-23T16:35:41.283-04:00S is starting to pick up on the lexicon. Kind of.Wednesday afternoon, after we've gone out for Pho to celebrate W's birthday, a discussion ensues....G: So S called M a bhattface.N: Why?M: Sean called me a what? A "bhatt"..."face"? Why?S: Well, M basically called a client "dumb" over the phone and to the face, so that basically seemed like a "bhattface" thing to do. Actually, what does Nhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04988520283433759342noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-59248776459251799412007-05-23T10:17:00.000-04:002007-05-23T10:18:16.752-04:00Tim Horton's Breakfast Sandwich, McD's Sausage and Egg McMuffin, McD's BLT, or McD's Sausage, Egg and Cheese McGriddle?Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06822914778917917124noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-34489202475076834872007-05-15T18:06:00.000-04:002007-05-15T18:15:05.535-04:00All fingers point to JAround lunch time, there are multiple calls for "where's the washroom key?" With no responses it seemed like S or M had accidentally taken it with them for lunch. When they came back:G: S? M? did one of you take the washroom key?M: Noo..... J!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DO YOU know where the washroom key is?! J: Why is it that I'm *ALWAYS* the first one Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06822914778917917124noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-81412380630072125662007-05-14T17:44:00.001-04:002007-05-14T17:49:51.202-04:00A just smiles and takes one on the chin.G has been taking support calls and breaking his head, as per usual.G: I can't believe it's 5:40pm already! I've only done a half hour of work. All because this stupid hoebag keeps asking me these STUPID questions....pause...A: ... Okay, okay, just one more question.Nhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04988520283433759342noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-91389750194877421692007-05-09T17:06:00.000-04:002007-05-10T12:23:49.761-04:00Aggro. And it wasn't me.J is whistling an incoherent tune that sounds like complete ass.D: Hey J! What's the name of that effing tune?G: I think it's called STFU.N: LOLD: I swear it is effing awesome. I mean, I must have it. [face turning beet red]I gotta effing iPod that. I have to listen to that all. day. long.ALL: LMAO.Nhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04988520283433759342noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-1157480955944042582006-09-05T14:24:00.000-04:002006-09-05T14:29:24.520-04:00Lunch from the Sandwich Box on Queen.Today I had:A multigrain triangle bread with a sundried tomato spread, avocado, rocket (arugula), smoked salmon, brie, sprinkled with sea salt, olive oil and vinegar, lemon, brushed with olive oil on top before the panini press... And there was a side of salad. (J, your combo here plz)Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06822914778917917124noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-1155847903606678192006-08-17T16:45:00.000-04:002006-08-17T21:41:36.306-04:00Freedom 25. So as many of you know, G has spent the last few years trying to accomplish his goal of (extra) early retirement. Reference can be found in previous posts. Today, August 17th, 2006, G turns 26. He received a commemorative letter.With thanks to Kl (hax), Mk (shots), N (pose), and to Ferrari-Maserati of Toronto (sick).Jnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-1155756953644365142006-08-16T15:30:00.000-04:002006-08-16T15:59:30.786-04:00Denitis (dĕnītĭs): n.Denitis is a state of being.BackgroundDenitis is a specific case of itis that you have at work.InductionSpecifically you have denitis after you eat a big lunch and fall asleep on a desk beside your boss.Usageex:M: Has Hoenis finished his lunch break? What is he doing?J: Yeah, he's done. He has denitis.Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06822914778917917124noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-1135268116423373692005-12-22T11:11:00.000-05:002005-12-22T11:53:34.790-05:00FACED.I felt our entry for faced didn't quite capture the true meaning of the word. So here's a pic to better illustrate what we mean.Image courtesy of Reuters.Nhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04988520283433759342noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-1126796577322670662005-09-15T10:57:00.000-04:002005-09-15T11:04:23.716-04:00Back from Manhattan. G & J are recently back from a 4-day sleepless sojourn in NYC. G stumbles into the office, cheerful as ever. His colleagues are as sympathetic and reassuring as always.S: Well, there's a cheery face.G: (grimace) Nnnnnnnnngghhh.S: Haha. What's the matter?G: *mumble*S: (looks at M) Well, I can't hear him. You talk to him.M: That's fine, I was just about to start something Jnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-1125681228601597372005-09-02T12:54:00.000-04:002005-09-03T23:05:51.523-04:00Tanish:Tanish is a dialect of English.BackgroundTanish was conceived in the House of Tan, then promulgated by various associates and retainers.InductionOne fateful night, just before dinner, a historic event took place in N's room. Je and Vi had just baked a batch of chocolate chip cookies, and a tasting was to take place. Je, ever magnanimous, elected to sample the first cookie. N simultaneouslyJnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-1125320205113397362005-08-29T08:25:00.000-04:002005-08-29T08:56:45.213-04:00Pow pow (pou pou): interj.Pow pow is one of the rare onomatopoeia terms in the lexicon.BackgroundLike many other HSL terms, pow pow can be traced to Counter-Strike. It is the sound that the Dual 96G Elite Berettas (terrorist only) make when fired.InductionPow pow is indisputably sourced to Kgow (aka K9, youngest of the HoL, and not to be confused with K). It is often accompanied by Jnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-1125092946032863762005-08-26T17:43:00.000-04:002005-08-26T17:51:38.856-04:00You know it's a bad day when... Our washroom is bruxed, so we have to go down to the 4th floor. After 6pm, building policy is to lock each floor off. Having already walked into the locked door (and unlocked it behind him), J is irritated since it's not even 6 yet. Still, he unlocks the door and figures he's fine. Coming back up from the 4th floor, he runs into the same door, locked yet again.J (Jnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-1125002897635738072005-08-25T16:14:00.000-04:002005-08-26T11:20:13.463-04:00Listen (līs'ən): interj.Listen, in the HSL world, has a rigorous meaning. It is related to the real verb "listen", but implies much more.BackgroundListen has no beginning or end. It is, was, and will be.InductionListen is indisputably sourced to N. In fact, it only carries the fully correct meaning when N says it.UsageThe use of listen is straightforward. It is an interjection that precedes a Jnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-1124915883000152692005-08-24T16:37:00.000-04:002005-08-24T17:00:12.983-04:00Snick (sssnĭk): adj.Snick is just one of those terms that has evolved and changed greatly in meaning from its original conception.BackgroundSnick was coined by the eldest of the HoT, Je, many years ago while recording some dialogue on a boombox. The original term snicked, pronouced "sssssnickid", was his interpretation of the word "naked". InductionThe word snicked had been used fairly often in Nhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06468494355820172782noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-1124907927895862382005-08-24T14:18:00.000-04:002005-08-24T14:28:11.460-04:00Actually, M is for moron. N and J are on their way downstairs to get a stack of McSnicks.N: Yo, I'll meet you there. Gotta go to the washroom.J: 'K. (presses elevator button)N: (walks downstairs. On the 5th floor, elevator opens.)Model (brusquely): What's upstairs?N (deadpan): ...More offices. (keeps walking)J: (upstairs, struggling not to laugh. On 6th floor, elevator opens.)Model: Oh darn, I Jnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-1124811821599062732005-08-23T11:15:00.000-04:002005-08-24T11:11:36.550-04:00Faced (fāāāsssst): v.tr.Faced is one of the HSL's most commonly heard yet least appreciated terms.BackgroundFaced is rooted in the expression "in your face". It carries an air of aggression, humiliation, and competition. While "in your face" is old and common jargon, our own faced is somewhat different.InductionThe critical moment in the history of faced was the release of "The Fast and the Jnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-1124737046751415152005-08-22T13:43:00.000-04:002005-08-24T16:27:12.296-04:00Brux (brŭks): adj., v.tr.Next up. "Brux," and family. An odd series of words whose true meanings have been replaced, reverted, and generally misappropriated.BackgroundBrux can be sourced to one of G's high school friends. Strictly speaking, it means "broken" or "faulty", although modern usage can imply subtle variations on this theme. As can be seen in the lexicon entry, brux is part of a larger Jnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-1124477732371904422005-08-19T14:45:00.000-04:002005-08-23T00:07:00.876-04:00Ching chong (chĭng chông): interj.Due to popular demand, we will begin a series of explanations for these terms. First to be so honored is "ching chong."BackgroundChing chong can ultimately be attributed to R, the infamous mumbler in the hot storegirl account. R is the median member of the House of Lau, ancient blood rivals to the House of Tan (G and N are 2nd and 3rd in the Tan lineage). Many ofJnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-1124383049754549822005-08-18T12:12:00.000-04:002006-10-02T19:17:03.420-04:00Nghai. (The HSL Lexicon)It has recently been brought to my attention that many of our readers don't understand what we're talking about. In fact, it may be the case that people laugh at us not only despite this semantic impasse, but also because of it. Bearing this in mind, here is a list of things you may hear us say from time to time but not understand.YEH, YEH YEH, OHHH YEAAAAAAAHHH, Jnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-1124299412927804202005-08-17T13:23:00.000-04:002005-08-17T13:41:03.690-04:00Lunchtime. Sitting around a stack of McSnicks. G's gf calls.G: Good afternoon, ourCompName, G speaking.Cn: Hi G, I need help.G: OK...(thinks 'who are you, what do you need', blood pressure rising)Cn: ...it's ME.G: Oh. Freak. Stop playing games, that's not funny.(McSnicks disappear. Eventually G hangs up.)J: So does she normally call you G?G: Well, yeah.J: Like, your whole first name.G: Well, yeahJnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-1124291741803709612005-08-17T11:15:00.000-04:002005-08-17T11:15:41.810-04:00Freedom 25. 365 days to go.Phone: *ring-g-g-g-g*G: Ugggh. So it begins.N: *chuckle*I: Happy birthday.Phone: *ring-g-g-g-g*G: Hello? Oh, hey M.J: DO-NOT-LET-HIM-GO-DO-NOT-LET-HIM-GOG: Yeah, he's here. Hold on. (passes phone)J: Hey, M. Do you know how to config our remote document server? R is in the bowels of hell right now, making him somewhat indisposed to help me.G: I'm in hell too!J: And G isJnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-1124218858165693032005-08-16T14:56:00.000-04:002005-08-23T15:00:13.910-04:00Despair is amusing. I was about to click 'Go' for jsettlers.Phone: *ring-g-g-g-g*G: noooOooOoooo.J: hahahahahaN: hahahahahaPhone: *ring-g-g-g-g*G: NOOoOoOooOOOOOOOooo.J: hahahahahaN: hahahahaha (points at J, meaning "post this")G: Hello, ourCompanyName. Uhhuh. Uhhuh. OK, bye. *click* YES, easy call.J: hahahahahaN: hahahahahaG: Freaking assface, don't do that, i'm gonna answer the phone Jnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-1124217667231707112005-08-16T14:40:00.000-04:002005-08-16T14:41:07.236-04:00MSN. Nicknames have been changed to protect the guilty.Jnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-1124208211703814912005-08-16T11:58:00.000-04:002005-08-16T12:03:31.710-04:00We treasure our clients. J has just arrived in the office, as the TTC had decided to undergo a morning meltdown. Also, welcome back, N.G: FREAKING RETARD.J: ...G: Chief.J: (to N) I don't like how "chief" came right after "freaking retard."G: You know how Tomcat has the adminstration page, right?J: Yeah.G: Can you get rid of it?J: Sure. Delete manage.jsp.G: This guy is telling me there's a Jnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-1123686971028291732005-08-10T11:10:00.000-04:002005-08-10T11:16:11.033-04:00Mazel tov, I. Avowed bachelor I has returned from Ireland, bride in tow.G: Shiny.I: Yeah, it'll leave a nice mark. *makes left fist*J: So you guys moved yet?I: I moved before man, in July.J: Oh. ... All set up, then?I: Yup, white walls. Why put stuff up when my wife is going to decide it all comes down?G: ...J: So it must be weird, saying that.I: Yeah. "My wife."Jnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-1123634213571703652005-08-09T20:28:00.000-04:002005-08-09T23:19:53.540-04:00I couldn't figure out another way to write the sound he made. It was hype. G is describing a salesperson. She was so hot, his girlfriend wanted to walk up and tell her how hot she was.G: There were pictures of her on the WALL, ok?Mk: On the wall. Hot?G: YEH-PHU-HEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!Mk: Hahahahahahaha, and SHE modeled for them?G: I dunno if she modeled for a living or not, but SHEEE was Jnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-1122693757929191442005-07-29T23:17:00.000-04:002005-07-29T23:26:00.070-04:00It shouldn't be funny, but... J and G are under the effects of stress and Red Bull. G has a real deadline. J doesn't.J: *shaking slightly* Yo, where did N and them go?G: I dunno.J: ...? They just left.G: Probably went to the club district to pick up girls.J: Oh serious? *jitter* Hmm. Why am i here then?G: WHY AM *IIIIIIII* HERE?! FREAKING 11 FREAKING PM ON A FRIDAY NIGHT!! Jnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-1122685074525627052005-07-29T20:57:00.000-04:002005-07-29T23:25:09.116-04:00Those crazy Protestants. J has been downloading Christian music albums.G: Ohhhhh...J: What?G: It's "I Need Thee Everyday".J: ...?G: I thought it said "I Need THREE Everyday". I was like, what kind of song is that?!Jnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-1121979864070982222005-07-21T16:53:00.000-04:002005-07-21T17:05:28.003-04:00Why heat isn't so bad.S: So are we really going to do this now?M: Well we definitely want it in there before the weekend.S: *eyeing large air conditioner*...all right...M: *moves to window* ok, so let's do it.J: All hands?M: Yes.J: *rises*M: OK, who's in charge of getting the new one in?J: You are.M: Great. Who's in charge of getting the old one out?G: *also rises* S is in charge.S: Me? I can'tJnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-1121971757801956112005-07-21T14:46:00.000-04:002005-07-21T15:00:56.490-04:00Why we shouldn't wear shirts.S: Man, look at you.I: What?S: What are you wearing? You look respectable.J: What, we're not supposed to look respectable?S: Well, no. Man, things are changing around here.J: ...because we look respectable.S: Yeah. First we look respectable. Soon we'll be respectable. And then we're in deep sh*t.Jnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-1121971535699682262005-07-21T14:40:00.000-04:002005-08-16T12:12:41.946-04:00We're back...So we've moved offices downtown somewhere. It's a much better location for food, and as the chief says "8888888888888888888888888888888". Bad thing is that Shopper's is no longer around the corner, but 10min away and their sales suck. Newest fad is a can of Arizona Green Tea with Ginseng and Honey everyday. For 99 cents it's the best deal around. BTW, Chinatown is mad stank in the Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06822914778917917124noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-1100037831793820722004-11-09T17:02:00.000-05:002005-08-16T12:10:32.203-04:00Hel-luh?Anyone still check this blog? Looks like J and I are back at work together and this blog should get resurrected! Stay tuned for an updateGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06822914778917917124noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-1080862301776119412004-04-01T18:31:00.000-05:002004-04-01T18:35:15.293-05:00 W0000000000000T We got bought out! An offer of $17.5 in private funding from one of our major clients just hit the table...G, that's it, time for sushi in japan dude!!!!!!!!!Jnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-1080251023167909822004-03-25T16:43:00.000-05:002004-03-25T16:47:11.043-05:00 Newborn a'cominI: ...and don't forget the planning meeting. S: Ugh, is there even a point to that? I mean, R can't do any work. I: Why not? The baby's not due for two weeks. S: Oh please. R's wife was in the hospital for 36 hours last week. That baby is coming, and soon. I: Well we don't KNOW that. It could have been anything. Women can have a bad burrito, you know... S: Says the man Jnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-1078524339593208002004-03-05T17:05:00.000-05:002004-03-05T17:08:37.780-05:00 Just another Friday.S: *adjusts pants* C: So, what have you been doing in the washroom, S, that requires you to be putting clothes back on? I: It's his friday afternoon coke. S: I don't know what you're talking about. And why are you all shaking? J: Why would he be putting clothes back on if he was shooting coke? S: You gotta earn it somehow. Jnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-1062088600385570802003-08-28T12:36:00.000-04:002003-08-28T12:40:26.546-04:00 Mascot Since this is the last week at work for a long time, we've been downloading a bunch of stupid videos to watch. I got a few nice ones off the Ferrari website, N got a few good ones of people playing Dance Dance Revolution and break dancing, J got some karate vids, but I think this one is the all time best. Hopefully this link will work: MD Mascot (WMP) MD Mascot (Real) Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06822914778917917124noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-1061503063949971332003-08-21T17:57:00.000-04:002003-08-21T17:57:43.953-04:00 Again, with the retirement (and V pays us a visit)G: Less than three years, that's the plan. V: You won't even be 30 yet! G: 25! 25!!! J: Freedom 25. Retired in two years. V: Ugh. That's disgusting. You won't even know what to do, you'll be so bored. G: No way, i'm gonna have ENOUGH stuff to do, ok? V: You're going to have so many kids, cause you won't have anything else to do with your Jnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-1061234153801487152003-08-18T15:15:00.000-04:002003-08-18T15:18:00.986-04:00 The G retirement plan (happy b-day, old man).G: Man, i have the biggest headache. My eyes are killing me. J: Why, what were you doing last night? G: Nothing. I got so much sleep, too. J: Meh. You're too old now. The big 2-3. G: S'right. Free in two years... J: Freedom 25.Jnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-1060103235531634232003-08-05T13:07:00.000-04:002003-08-05T13:07:15.520-04:00 Half of a work day last week was spent laughing after reading this . Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06822914778917917124noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-1060099931908987052003-08-05T12:12:00.000-04:002003-08-05T12:16:32.040-04:00 You want bail? Why don't you post this... So messieur G is out for the moment. At jury duty, believe it or not. Word has it that he scammed his way out by proclaiming he was the acting Chief Technical Officer of a 7-man company, and his absence would shut us down. Oh wait, that's true (M is in Ireland). Anyway, he should be back any second now...good thing too, or the other 6 of us would Jnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-1058823568655431692003-07-21T17:39:00.000-04:002003-07-21T17:41:30.993-04:00 Tick tock.J: So what time is the meeting tomorrow? 10:30, right? M: No actually, you're lucky. G: No wait, it IS 10:30! M: What? Oh. Sorry, i just don't have that kind of guile. G: Why? M: We can't lie to him about the time. If you do that, you're not respecting him and you're not respecting yourself. J: (interjects) That's ok, they don't have any self-respect anyway. M: It's one thingJnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-1058801537985187522003-07-21T11:32:00.000-04:002003-07-21T11:32:17.966-04:00 whoops. So guess who forgot to renew a domain (did the broken images tip you off?). The bad news is: - we route our work emails to this domain - all our files and images are served from this domain - there are at least 8 people using it The good news is: - um...yah On a related note: pay me, you monkeys. Jnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-1058292630399644542003-07-15T14:10:00.000-04:002003-07-15T14:15:24.436-04:00 embarrassing, but for your entertainment I just got a new digicam, so let's play a game. For those that don't already know, guess which workstation belongs to who: Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06822914778917917124noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-1057954751497473012003-07-11T16:19:00.000-04:002003-07-11T16:22:08.746-04:00 but the engineers, they're fine. M: Parents, don't let your kids be lawyers. J: So you're saying all lawyers are bad. M: Let's put it this way. My accountant is in his 60s, a career accountant. I asked him if he knew any good lawyers, and he said "Well to be honest, no." J: Well, why is that? M: Lawyers spend half their time defending something they know to be wrong. Prosecutors spend Jnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-1057608525366504482003-07-07T16:08:00.000-04:002003-07-07T16:26:04.750-04:00 Sniff it up. J. likes: unlit cigarettes dislikes: Febreze (induces vomiting) G. likes: Vanilla Americano dislikes: J N. likes: girls dislikes: durian ("smells like ass. elephant ass.") Jnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-960179152003-06-25T11:11:00.000-04:002003-06-25T11:17:22.000-04:00 I broke his arm... kind of.. So we went to play hockey Monday after work... While playing, J tripped over my stick and flew, landing on his arm. As N says, "that's a lot of weight man". The result was a fractured arm. Here are the emails that got sent around at work the next day. G: J tripped over my stick yesterday playing hockey and he got two hairline fractures... Not sure if he’s coming inGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06822914778917917124noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-959493612003-06-23T12:06:00.000-04:002003-06-23T12:09:44.000-04:00 Joy, it's Monday So last week, G walked into the office.G: Yo, i need your help, right now. There's a huge stash of cardboard outside. J: ... cardboard? G: The fabric place. TUBES, guy. For VBC. J: Ohhh. K. Right, so...tubes. Ask G about the tube/cleaver matchup sometime. Jnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-957297682003-06-16T17:05:00.000-04:002003-06-16T17:07:00.000-04:00 &quotI got a 2 by 4...&quot Ok, I don't usually post this stuff, but this was way too good: ServiceCall.mp3 (300KB) Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06822914778917917124noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-956055862003-06-12T17:37:00.000-04:002003-06-12T17:37:01.760-04:00 The results of the Ad-Aware hunt: http://www.lavasoftusa.com/software/adaware/ J: (23 evils / 583357 Objects Scanned) 2 Processes Identified 1 Registry Keys Identified 4 Registry Values Identified 15 Files Identified 1 Folders Identified N: (68 evils / 155961 Objects Scanned) 2 Processes Identified 5 Registry Keys Identified 6 Registry Values Identified 53 Files Identified 2 Folders IdentifiedJnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-954773402003-06-09T15:44:00.000-04:002003-06-09T15:50:16.000-04:00welcome back, it's monday all rightG: Ok listen, listen...if this is your error? I *swear*... why you guys so stupid!? I can't believe i have to stop all my stuff... J: (continues to work on his stuff) G: Ok look, i'm going on vacation, screw you guys, screw you all. J: (continues to work on his stuff) N: Yo, you stink. G: What, me? Or him? N: Him, guy. G: Hey I, can we get a no-barefootJnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-952926672003-06-04T13:43:00.000-04:002003-06-09T15:51:01.000-04:00 the executive conversation resumesS: G, i really don't know why you need a morale booster- G: (mimes gunshot suicide) S: - we've got all these big deals, big names, all these potential clients. G: Yeah, and for all i know, you just made it all up. The only way i'll know is if i log into the database and inspect the client transactions, and i really don't want to do that. S: (mockingly) G, Jnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-952921422003-06-04T13:30:00.000-04:002003-06-04T13:31:58.000-04:00 posting a release G approaches the Non-Development half of the office, neck and back unbroken, but sore. A brief consultation with the CEO ensues after a long series of minor bug fixes and small technical breakdowns.G: S, i need a morale booster. ... S: Why?Jnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-952023422003-06-02T14:40:00.000-04:002003-06-02T15:18:06.000-04:00 monday continues scene 1: heading to Shoppers Drug MartJ: So have you ever marked your timesheet for going to Shoppers? G: No, man. We're only gone for 10, 15 minutes. And they eat all our food that we pay for. J: Yeah, me neither. So look, we spend $5 at Shoppers, but we're gone 10 minutes so it evens out. N: Maybe for YOU it evens out. J: Oh. Right. N: And you still owe me $4! Bitch! G: Jnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-952006102003-06-02T13:56:00.000-04:002003-06-02T15:18:25.000-04:00 the results are in... http://www.innergeek.us/geek.html J: 45.16765% - Super Geek G: 38.26430% - Major Geek N: 37.47535% - Major Geek courtesy of sjc (27%)Jnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-951947412003-06-02T11:32:00.000-04:002003-06-02T15:18:46.000-04:00 day after woes. N is sore. G's back is acting up and his neck is 'broken'. J is fine.N: OK, you don't understand. After tomorrow, it's going to be OVER. J: Why? N: Because i'm freaking TIRED, guy. J: Why? N: Because i was running harder than you were. G: OK, this guy, OK? He stands there watching this ball going to him, just yelling "DEEP! DEEP!", and then it hits the fence and then he Jnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-950487322003-05-29T16:19:00.000-04:002003-05-29T20:43:25.000-04:00 Hazing at work G: Crap! I just remembered something that we're forgetting to do and I just forgot it again! J: So then you're fired. N: That's why you're an IDIOT! S: *laughs* Man, that was just so cold and out of the blue... M: Now now N, just cuz he's your brother doesn't mean you can abuse him like that at work. N: Why not? I do it all the time at home. Geez.... Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06822914778917917124noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-950040852003-05-28T16:29:00.000-04:002003-05-28T16:32:06.000-04:00N, i need an exit.G: Man, i love that how stuff works here. Like A, like D, like me, like him, like anybody who ever worked here...you walk in, and the first week you gotta do things you don't understand at ALL. J: Yah, i still remember my first week. "We need a help system. Go build a help system." G: Right, and you didn't even know Java! I still remember A...after the first week he's Jnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-949102142003-05-26T17:05:00.000-04:002003-05-26T17:05:11.046-04:00 Scene: 4:30 pm, Monday, marketing meeting. J is whistling "it's a small world" theme. N is doing work. G is alternately using a whiteboard marker to write "development is futile", and to mime gunshot suicide. A side conversation breaks out.I: hah, he's gonna sic his father on you! O: I've worked with his father before in far worse situations. J: ...and lived to tell the tale. O: (Jnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-947040292003-05-21T17:09:00.000-04:002003-05-21T17:16:38.000-04:00 The silence is deafening... (deeefin’) J is gone this week and the amount of ruckus in the office is close to the all time low. The office is actually quiet. If you’ve ever worked with the guy you’ll know what I’m talking about. There’s either banging on the table or shaking of his feet (ngun geuk) or some kind of yelling at his computer screen (" WHY? WHY? WHY? YOU *@!&#! ") etc.. At least onceGhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06822914778917917124noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-942766592003-05-13T13:37:00.000-04:002003-05-13T14:53:45.000-04:00 Guns...lots of guns. A welcome to our newest office member, the Operator. Heretofore known as "N". Jnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-939997472003-05-08T12:57:00.000-04:002003-05-08T13:05:14.000-04:00 lunchtime discussing worldwide teenage pregnancyM: well you see, the Appalachian mountain areas are generally laughed at for having a variety of social problems - C (admin): like inbreeding. J: i see... M (counts on fingers): poor education, inbreeding, and a severe lack of shoes. C: not to mention the most ridiculous form of music ever to come out of the United States, namely hillbilly Jnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-939531912003-05-07T18:26:00.000-04:002003-05-07T18:26:22.000-04:00 The big move Office space isn't cheap. With 7 (soon to be 8) people working in a tiny office that's probably smaller than both of my brothers' bedrooms, space is valuable. We aren't at the point where a large office is affordable in our budget, so we have to make do with what we have. In the last few weeks, we've made two attempts to make our office more usable. The first was to buy an Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06822914778917917124noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-938855952003-05-06T17:18:00.000-04:002003-05-08T13:05:34.000-04:00 mayday: the missing treasurer sometime after his (sober) return to the officeJ: the goodness of beer? the goodness of beer is what put you down for two days! M (CTO): hah. I (Treasurer): no, it wasn't the beer. it was all the pharmaceuticals. M: pharmaceuticals? what pharmaceuticals?! J: well narcotics, presumably. M: right, so what *were* you smoking? I: well that's what *i* want to know. Jnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-936046862003-05-01T13:16:00.000-04:002003-05-01T13:20:03.000-04:00 more dialogue from the office:G (on phone): SO STUDY, YOU MONKEY! P: ok, ok! J: tell that monkey to stop playing XBox. G: yeah, so anyway, we're gonna have a meeting tomorrow at 11, and it might go past 1. we'll be late for lunch. P: really? oh man, that's not good. does your phone have vibrator? G: um...yeah... P: ok, then just leave your phone on vibrator and i'll call you then. G: (Jnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-935348852003-04-30T11:14:00.000-04:002003-04-30T12:06:41.000-04:00 about time... G is talking to N right now. N is the long-awaited representative of Qualcomm Canada, aka Cancom; from what i'm told, he's been only slightly less difficult to locate than Osama Bin Laden. With that in mind, it's somewhat strange that he's in our ghetto office...i walk in this morning, and my desk has been rearranged - the biodegradable/biohazardous materials gone, the loose Jnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-934104902003-04-28T13:33:00.000-04:002003-04-28T13:33:45.083-04:00 parvovirus B19 Yes, i have fifth disease. Yes, it is an ailment typically found amongst small children, not unlike chicken pox. No, i was not slapped twice by some girl. Not lately, anyway. Yes, my quarantine is officially completed. Yes, i will be fine. Jnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-932566852003-04-25T15:21:00.000-04:002003-04-25T15:32:07.000-04:00 "...I don't know how to paste...." My week is now officially a write-off. We managed to do the software release yesterday with minor problems. Most of those were quickly solved. There were two small problems with related software we have and J was supposed to work on them from home. He was half dead so we left it for the time being. This morning was hell again. First off my journey to work. I Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06822914778917917124noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-931912292003-04-24T14:24:00.000-04:002003-04-24T15:02:26.000-04:00 "...what if..." Yesterday totally sucked. Today sucks rocks. In my frenzy yesterday I was bombarded with things to do. Major things that needed fixing ASAP. All of those were done by about 6:00pm. We were then at the final stage to release the next version of our software, meaning 'speak now or forever hold your peace' to the people in charge. Two things happened. First thing was someone spoke. Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06822914778917917124noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-931346562003-04-23T16:50:00.000-04:002003-04-23T16:50:38.000-04:00 Fine for now... So far 5 or so people have called me on my cell at work "Hello? G? Why are you at work? Shouldn't you be quarantined? What about J?". I'm feeling fine. J is not. He's home sick, quarantined, but not for SARS. "Chill out" indeed. Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06822914778917917124noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-931300152003-04-23T15:27:00.000-04:002003-04-23T16:37:56.000-04:00 quarantine :( (not for SARS though, chill out) Yes, so i'm under doc's orders not to go out, despite feeling better and all. This has the following immediate consequences: a) need replacement for bible study, worship team, and sunday school b) G's work situation becomes even more intolerable with 2x nightmare c) i get to read books On a semi-related note, mom is a sadist. My doc, having Jnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-931250582003-04-23T13:55:00.000-04:002003-04-23T13:55:43.000-04:00 "If you had a thousand monkeys on a thousand typewriters..." Right now I wish a had a million monkeys with a million computers to do my work. I went to sleep last night with the thought "Tomorrow, I'm gonna do some kick ass work and get everything done". Well that isn't how its going today. Before I even had a chance to step foot into the office I was hit with my first job: "There's this guy Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06822914778917917124noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-931138132003-04-23T10:36:00.000-04:002003-04-23T10:38:29.000-04:00 ugh. So i'm sitting around at home, for the second day in a row, being useless. As G puts it with his characteristic grace and charm, "so fired". Two days ago i got a fever. JOY. 38.73 degrees, baby. Then the headache. So i'm lying in bed with my eyeballs popping out of my skull, thinking "Hmm, maybe i have SARS." Followed by, "if i have SARS, why doesn't G? Or Tammy?" Anyway, i start Jnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-927343922003-04-16T16:11:00.000-04:002003-04-16T16:28:23.000-04:00 "...may I help you?" Part of our job here is tech support. If you've done tech support at a software company then you'd understand. It typically goes like this... A user calls our sales line. Our sales staff tries their best to solve the problem but most likely we'll get called in to fix the problem. Sales: "G/J, I have this person on the line that doesn't has a problem. Can you take over?" [Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06822914778917917124noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-926787032003-04-15T18:55:00.000-04:002003-04-15T18:55:55.233-04:00 More dialogue:J: why not? better two tans than a tan and a wong. I (treasurer, etc): really? J: Yah, it'd go smoother than G and Joe. G: Oh, i thought you meant Dennis. J: But you'd never survive the smell. Heh, Dennis. Or Rusty. Wow. I: What was Rusty's last name? Oh right, Wong. J: So we've hired three Wongs. I: Quite right, three Wongs. Three Wongs and no whites. Jnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-926016352003-04-14T15:51:00.000-04:002003-04-15T18:57:00.000-04:00Sample dialogue from our office:G (code monkey omega): "Yeah, half your age plus seven. It's a general rule." S (president and ceo): "Hey, who's that?" J (code monkey alpha): "Namie Amuro." (thanks, ums) S: "Really..." J: "Yah. She's half-japanese, half-white." S: "...and *ALLL* bad..." Jnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-926000862003-04-14T15:24:00.000-04:002003-04-14T15:24:00.920-04:00 You'd think a couple of expert code monkeys would be able to produce a better-looking blog in an hour. Well, an "hour", anyway :| "Here's something", all right...at any rate, we've gotta run, the boss' little girl is off to the hospital with a bump on her noggin, and her baby brother is coming into the office for Nerd Caretaking(tm). While we're gone, look carefully at the small title image, Jnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5281656.post-925948742003-04-14T13:46:00.000-04:002003-04-14T14:04:41.000-04:00 Welcome to the HSL blog. This is just so Jon and I can post stuff while at work, hence "Here's Something". Had to add in the "La" to make it interesting. Enjoy. Ghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06822914778917917124noreply@blogger.com