You know it's a bad day when... Our washroom is bruxed, so we have to go down to the 4th floor. After 6pm, building policy is to lock each floor off. Having already walked into the locked door (and unlocked it behind him), J is irritated since it's not even 6 yet. Still, he unlocks the door and figures he's fine. Coming back up from the 4th floor, he runs into the same door, locked yet again.
J (thinks): Freaking freak, the door's locked.
J (thinks): ...
J (thinks): Freak.
J (thinks): OK, that's fine. Someone needs to unlock the door. Fine. So I need to call someone in the office. G. What's his phone number? I'll check my cell. Freaking, cell is on my desk. Wait, I know his number, it's that stupid codeword. OK, so all I gotta do is go downstairs and find a pay phone. Hmm do I have a quarter? (fishes in pocket).
J (thinks): Nice, quarter. Wait, I'm an idiot. I can just go back down to the 4th floor, get into the fire escape, and come back up to the 6th. Right, no problem. Wait, I'm an idiot. I can just go to the fifth floor.
J (thinks): Hmm, so I don't need this quarter then. (puts quarter back in pocket and feels keys)
Listen, in the HSL world, has a rigorous meaning. It is related to the real verb "listen", but implies much more.
Background Listen has no beginning or end. It is, was, and will be.
Induction Listen is indisputably sourced to N. In fact, it only carries the fully correct meaning when N says it.
Usage The use of listen is straightforward. It is an interjection that precedes a lecture, admonishment, or instruction. The uneducated generally believe that listen means "please pay attention". In fact, the correct interpretation of listen is: "You're an idiot. Let me explain why." Observe carefully.
ex: K: I don't understand why my fiends couldn't kill that dragon.
N: OK, listen. HOW LONG have you been playing undead? Fiends don't hit air. Why would else you need web?
It should be noted that this example was not true to life. K indeed said those words, but N's reply was much more harsh, given how booned up K's statement was. (We will not go into details about N's actual response, but for a general idea, refer to asshat and family). Nevertheless, listen's mildness makes it highly suitable for a special purpose. Since it is easily misinterpreted as a simple appeal for attention, listen is much more frequently used to deal with girls who are being irrational and/or boon.
ex: Rt: No, seriously, I will be there for sure this time. FOR SURE.
N (aggro): Listen, you CAN'T keep saying that, you actually have NO IDEA if you can make it or not.
It is possible that readers at this point (perhaps even Rt herself) may still think that in the preceding example, "listen" meant "please listen". Rest assured, nothing could be further from the truth. This lexicon post will likely have serious repercussions for all future dialogue with N. Nonetheless, posterity and the public good must be served.
Faced is one of the HSL's most commonly heard yet least appreciated terms.
Background Faced is rooted in the expression "in your face". It carries an air of aggression, humiliation, and competition. While "in your face" is old and common jargon, our own faced is somewhat different.
Induction The critical moment in the history of faced was the release of "The Fast and the Furious". In it, Michelle Rodriguez plays Letty, who at one point in the film says: "I smell skanks. Why don't you girls just pack it up before I leave tread marks on your face." In order to understand the significance of the scene, we present a more appropriate phonetic rendering:
Letty: I smell...*sniffsniff*...skanksss. Why don't you girls pack it up before I leave tread marks on your faaay-sssee.
Instantly, G, N, and Ns adopted the term into the standard HSL lexicon.
Usage Faced is a verb. By far the most common usage is to describe a situation in which someone has suffered humiliating defeat or overt embarrassment.
ex: G: They scored 14 runs on us in the last two innings.
J: Ew. You guys got faced.
ex: Mt: I have three words for you, J. You're dumb.
J: Hahaha THREE words, eh?
Mt: Yes, you are dumb.
Rt: Nono, I heard it. You said "you're dumb". Learn to count.
J: Ohoooo, FACED.
Faced can also refer to any sort of scenario where someone's face is actually injured, regardless of whether the scenario is intrinsically humiliating.
ex: You see that skater slip on the half-pipe? Came down nasty, got faced.
Finally, faced is used to describe anyone who has been the victim of a headshot in a first-person shooting game, almost invariably Counter-Strike.
ex: Ohhhhhh headshot. fus!on been faced by r34ctor.
Pronunciation is of paramount importance. For all intents, the word has two syllables. The first is "faaay"; it is heavily stressed, with an elongated long a sound. The second is "ssssset", with an elongated sibilant and a sharp ending. It should be noted that faced has permeated the lexicon to such an extent that even the normal word "face" is routinely altered. Thus in yesterday's example, the correct reading is: "I would have bruxxed his faaay-ssse".
Next up. "Brux," and family. An odd series of words whose true meanings have been replaced, reverted, and generally misappropriated.
Background Brux can be sourced to one of G's high school friends. Strictly speaking, it means "broken" or "faulty", although modern usage can imply subtle variations on this theme. As can be seen in the lexicon entry, brux is part of a larger family of words that signify brokenness of some sort.
Induction Brux had already seen sporadic usage before the key induction point, which is attributed to G. While working on a linux server, G couldn't change the permissions on a certain file, for reasons long forgotten. This caused him to exclaim "Freaking chmod is ch'brux!" With this, brux officially entered the standard HSL lexicon.
Usage Brux has a rich and variegated usage tree. If something is brux, it is not working properly. A regular variant of the adjectival brux is bruxor/bruxxor. As an adjective, brux can also imply an aesthetic hindrance, i.e. ugliness.
ex: My mouse is brux. Your face is more bruxxor though.
Additionally, metaphoric bruxxage is possible. (-age is the preferred syntax for the creation of nouns from most HSL verbs). If a situation is bruxed, it's not going as desired.
ex: OK, this event is clearly bruxed. Mad bruxxage.
Much like one can break objects, one can brux them. Hence, brux can be used to describe the act of breaking, typically with hostile overtones.
ex: If he'd said that to me, I would have bruxxed his face.
Very importantly, brux also carries the connotation of something that is extremely good, so much so that it creates an unfair imbalance. In a roundabout sort of logic, it is "broken" because it introduces an insurmountable advantage to the bearer. Paradoxically, broken is used more commonly than brux to mean "good". This misuse means that the real English word "broken" has been, for all intents, replaced by brux in the HSL world.
ex: Yo, this guy's guitar skills are freaking broken, ok? Sooo ch'brux.
(For those of you not following, "broken" now usually means "good". "Brux" usually means "faulty", but can also sometimes mean "good". In this example, the guitarist is exceptionally skilled. The imbalance that is implied probably relates to the effect these skills have on girls.)
Other terms in the same family (brax, braxt, messed, booned up, etc) similarly imply that an unexpected and/or undesirable malfunction is taking place. Brax is a direct substitute for brux, of N's making. Messed can also be safely used wherever bruxxed would be. Booned up, however, carries a special connotation of malfunction due to directly attributable incompetence. Thus, booned up is always a negative remark. Further discussion of the newb/noob/boon/htur scale of incompetence will follow in future.
J: McSnick.
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