Here's Something-La ;)
J: McSnick.
Legend (who's who)
M: Chief Technical Officer
S: President and CEO
I: Treasurer
J, G, N, A, D, F etc: monkeys
Briefly: we work for a startup. This is what life is like for us. We make a very good product. No, i'm serious.

Wednesday, October 08, 2008 

Anyone still reading?

Friday, December 07, 2007 

Burn him at the stake!



A: "Tests failed!!"

St: "Who was it A? Point him out!! Tell us who it was!!"

A: "......[looking up logs]... it was..... St!"

St: [mouth drops]

everyone: lol

Tuesday, December 04, 2007 

Cheap shot #2



S: "St, there's something wrong with the phone system. When people dial in and key in my name, they can't reach me."

G: "...what? I keyed in A-S-S last week and it went through fine."

Wednesday, November 21, 2007 

We're working too hard

I walks over beside A's desk and picks up a full ziplock bag of chunky white powder


I: "Come on A, you don't REAALLY need THIS much..."

A: "hahahaha"

I: "....so, uh, what IS this?"

Thursday, November 01, 2007 


On Northern Professionalism.
J, now a Yellowknifer, is constantly tormented by management to be the exemplar of big-city professionalism during his Arctic sojourn. Here, we find him in the middle of a call to the phone company, attempting to connect a residential line to his apartment.
Phone Lady: Can I please have your phone number?

J: Ma'am, I don't have a phone. That's why I'm calling you, from the cable company.

PL who, oddly enough, has a Jamaican accent: Well, surely you have a phone somewhere else. You're new to Yellowknife, right?

J: Yes, that's right. How about my work phone, back home?

PL: Perfect. So where's home, anyway?

J: Toronto.

PL: JEEEEESUS CHRIST, you poor unlucky bastard! You left Toronto?

J: ...yeah. There's worse places to go, though.

PL: Yeah, you could have been stuck in Tuk. Well, I know how that feels, I'm from Toronto too.

J: Oh really? Wow. So here's my number. [blah]

PL: OK, I got it. And where do you work? How long? What do you do?

J: I work at [blah], it's been 7 years. We make software.

PL: OK. And your boss's name? And phone number?

J: It's M. You can reach him at the same number, but a different extension.

PL: Can you give me that number again? It's on the last page, I'd have to go back to get it.

J: Sure, it's [blah].

PL: Great. You know how it is, Mr. Software Genius. This stupid system, you should really come fix this for us, I'm sure they'd hire you.

J: Yeah, I could do that. You just let them know for me.

PL: Haha. OK, so, because you're a software genius and you been working for the same place for 7 years and have a VISA and all o dat, we don't need a security deposit from you, even though you're just a chile'.

J: Terrific. Thanks very much.

PL: Now, I can rent you a phone, but you don't want to do that because our prices are no good. You just walk on down the street and visit the Wal Mart or the Radio Shack, they'll sell you a phone a hell of a lot cheaper, ok?

J: Yes ma'am, I'll do that, thanks.

PL: OK great, the phone will be working later today. Nobody gonna visit, we do it all from here. Ain't computers wonderful? But you know all that already, haha! You just give us a call if you need anything else. Take care now, byebye!


Tuesday, October 30, 2007 

Cheap shot

Earlier in the week..

S: "If you don't hear much from me, I'm still struggling with the business plan..."


Today

G eating some Toblerone

S: "oh.. can I score a piece of that?"

G: "...so is the business plan done?"

S: "Ouch that's cold. now I can't even enjoy it if I have a piece
takes a piece anyway



She *is* niiiicce


S: "A, A, A... J ratted you out. A has a GF! And he interrupted work to call her [sarcasm]"

G: "oh come on, it was Sunday night"

S: "So? it's still work!"

G: "Actually it was like 1am"

S: "OH! so it was a WORK DAY"



Helleh?


S: "...G, why is the voice on the phone system so angry? ... It's you is it?"


Apparently, customers are complaining =D

Monday, October 15, 2007 

So long, farewell, auf Wiedersehen, adieu.
Adieu, adieu, to yieu and yieu and youuuuuuuUUUUUU



G is arranging a 'see you later' lunch for J:


G (in email): "We'll be celebrating J moving up north (and also winning new projects) this Wednesday. Please let me know if you can/can't make it."

O (reply email): "I think it might sound better to say that we were marking, rather than celebrating, J's move north?"

J (reply):"Nono, that's precisely what he meant."

J: "Case in point (circa 15 seconds ago):


N: "So you're DEFINITELY going indefinitely, right?"

J: "What?"

N: "Like, this move, you're definitely gone indefinitely on Saturday."

J: "Yeah. Why?"

N: "No, I'm just making sure."


Thursday, September 13, 2007 

...is she...niiiicce?

A is working on his sister's slideshow for her wedding this week:


I walks over to A: "is that your date?"

A: "NO!"

G: "that's his sister.. lol"

I: "THAT's your sister? wwwwooooowww"

everyone: "LOL"

G: "get ready to get thrown out the window"

A: "lol OUTSIDE.. NOW"

M: "what are you laughing about?"

I: "it's alfred's sister, come check it out"

everyone: "OHHHHHHH"

Tuesday, September 04, 2007 

Your ass on the line
Friday afternoon, before the long weekend, M is planning a major DB revamp...:


M: ...don't worry, I'll take care of it all, everything will be ok

Saturday morning ~10am
M: ..so G there's a bit of a problem. The DB is too big...there's option A or B... what do you think?

G: thinking lolomgwthbbq.....

A new plan is in place, both M and G have to do a bit of work over the weekend. G is to do some testing and some file transferring. Then later:
M: while at the Ex no doubt (in a SMS message): "Should i drop the db? Your ass on the line"

G: now thinking: OHHHH.. what happened to 'don't worry, I'll take care of it all'? ohhhhhhhh... well only one answer i can give: "The cowboy hat is on so go ahead and dropdb"




This reminds me of the time where the older W was working here, and was reluctant to put his ass on the line. N then creates a plain webpage with just a line across the middle of it and some text underneath saying "W, your ass better be touching the screen"

Tuesday, August 28, 2007 

Wits and Wages

J: Or we could just swing by T's.

G: How about I swing by your face?

N: How about I swing my knuckle by your eye?



There's someone in my HAUS... and it's NOT ME.

J: Why do we always go to St. Louis? Why not Duff's?

G: 'Cause it's close to M's HAUS.

D: ...Are you saying 'house'?

N: LMAO

G: ...It's... uh....

D: Or are you trying to say, like, 'horse'?

N: LMFAO

J: No it's Tanish for 'house'.

G: It's not Tanish. It's just Ns. Tanish would be 'heese'.

D: Oh, so is that like, street then?



Wednesday, July 18, 2007 

This could very well be N


N has come so close to doing this so many times:

Discomfited German hurls PC from window, police sympathize



Comments are gold:

  
murray @ Jul 18th 2007 2:53AM

I wanted to do that tonight when my PC refused to connect to my wifi network.

Until I realised it was user error.
 
shakman @ Jul 18th 2007 8:11AM

just as well you didn't hurl yourself out the window once you'd identified the fault...


Friday, June 01, 2007 

W Bare Hand Phone Hax


Turn up the volume



Wednesday, May 23, 2007 

S is starting to pick up on the lexicon. Kind of.
Wednesday afternoon, after we've gone out for Pho to celebrate W's birthday, a discussion ensues....

G: So S called M a bhattface.

N: Why?

M: Sean called me a what? A "bhatt"..."face"? Why?

S: Well, M basically called a client "dumb" over the phone and to the face, so that basically seemed like a "bhattface" thing to do. Actually, what does that term really mean? Would someone like to tell me? It's probably something like "bumbaclot" where if you use it wrong, you're probably in deep trouble.




Tim Horton's Breakfast Sandwich, McD's Sausage and Egg McMuffin, McD's BLT, or McD's Sausage, Egg and Cheese McGriddle?

Tuesday, May 15, 2007 

All fingers point to J

Around lunch time, there are multiple calls for "where's the washroom key?" With no responses it seemed like S or M had accidentally taken it with them for lunch. When they came back:

G: S? M? did one of you take the washroom key?

M: Noo..... J!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DO YOU know where the washroom key is?!

J: Why is it that I'm *ALWAYS* the first one to get blamed?

M: I wasn't blaming you... I was..

J: YEAH you were, "J!" is calling me, "J!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" is clearly blaming

ALL: LOL.

... long pause...

D: oh... uh, here it is...

ALL: LMAO!!




Monday, May 14, 2007 

A just smiles and takes one on the chin.
G has been taking support calls and breaking his head, as per usual.

G: I can't believe it's 5:40pm already! I've only done a half hour of work. All because this stupid hoebag keeps asking me these STUPID questions.

...pause...

A: ... Okay, okay, just one more question.


Home